Regular clients may have already met her, but we’ve got a new face that will be showing up in a more official capacity. 

Theia (pronounced Thee-uh) is a Rough Collie and who is going to be practicing to become a therapy dog. She is 3 years old and enjoys playing fetch and getting lots of scritches and pets.

Why is Theia coming on board?

With Cora starting to have vision issues and turning 12 this year, I’ve decided to let her slow down her “work hours”. While she still enjoys coming to the office occasionally, we’ve decided to become more intentional with Theia’s training to be a therapy dog.

Cora vs Theia

All dogs are different in their personalities, and Theia and Cora are no different. Where Cora gets excited to meet new people, Theia is more demure and curious. Cora can be a bit demanding and entitled when it comes to requiring affection (typical firstborn) where Theia likes it but doesn’t need it.

 Theia is an active dog who enjoys and active lifestyle. Cora is a couch potato who has to be coaxed to move. Both have their strengths in the therapy room, but I’ve noticed Theia’s curiosity in observing the client as they process and work through something. She doesn’t require attention, but is always paying attention.

Changes

I will also have to start making adjustments in my expectations of one dog over the other as they are very different in what they bring to the therapy room. But I’m very excited to see the impact of Theia’s steadying and soothing presence in session.

One thing is certainly the same however: people love dogs, and therapy with a dog is (almost) always comforting. Doing therapy WITH a dog is also a sweet experience, and I’m excited to work on my partnership with Theia as she works towards her certification!

Lots of coping skills are recommended to have a “useful toolbox” of skills to access when you need them. Coping skills are how we handle stress.

If our main coping skills are substance use or TV binging, then we probably aren’t managing our emotions as well as we could.

This video provides the understanding and tools for using these two major coping skills in productive ways.

If you know someone who has been struggling with suicidal thoughts or self harm thoughts, this video is for you!

Suicide can be a scary topic if you’re unfamiliar with it. Especially when someone you care about has expressed these thoughts.

So what do you do when you are worried? I break it down for you in this video, and also in PART 2!

Crisis hotlines have experienced an unprecedented increase in calls due to the major impact of the coronavirus on our world. See the CNN story here.

If you or someone you love is considering self harm or suicide, here are some resources: What to look out for: Check out National Institute of Mental Health signs list

From NIMH:

Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Lifeline) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or text the Crisis Text Line (text HELLO to 741741).

Both services are free and available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

The deaf and hard of hearing can contact the Lifeline via TTY at 1-800-799-4889. All calls are confidential.

Contact social media outlets directly if you are concerned about a friend’s social media updates or dial 911 in an emergency.

‘Tis the season for interactions that make you feel 10 years old all over again, whether you’re stuck at the “kid’s table” or not.

I see my clients fall into two categories during this time of year. The first group is able to get into the Christmas spirit once they feel like they’ve got their stress under control, while the other group takes a clear “grit your teeth and bear it” stance.

The second group is just hoping to make it to January 2nd without a breakdown. If you feel like you might be falling into that second group, you may need to set some boundaries.

Boundaries

This is a way bigger topic than I can cover here, but for the purposes of holidays and family interactions with that one relative who always pushes your buttons…lets cover a few basics.

A boundary is not something you put in place for OTHER people. A boundary is what helps you know what you are comfortable with. Think of a boundary as “permission with parameters”. Here is an example:

Situation:

Cousin Maurice (fictitious) and I have different political views, and I don’t want to argue with him because that doesn’t make me feel relaxed or happy.

Unhealthy boundary example:

I avoid the family dinner entirely (passive) or go ahead and make my opinions known before he has the chance to argue (aggressive). Or maybe I tell everyone BEFORE this cousin arrives how I’m NOT going to let him “mess” with me this year (passive aggressive).

Health boundary:

I go to the family dinner prepared to be cordial and yet aware that I will NOT get into a political debate. Therefore, when Maurice baits me, I respond “I’m enjoying my evening too much to talk about politics Maurice, but tell me about how your dog is doing.” I’ve just communicated what I’m comfortable talking about (and what I’m not going to talk about) in an assertive manner.

Pro tip:

If Maurice pushes me on it, or won’t drop it, I continue to communicate assertively, i.e. “Not going to discuss politics tonight Maurice. Let me know when you want to talk about something else and I’d love to.” That’s holding my boundary.

Expectations

It’s important to have realistic expectations for yourself AND others during the holidays. I’ve learned that the old adage “Expectations kill relationships” is forever true.

Don’t expect other’s to magically know that you’re now attempting to communicate boundaries and practice being more assertive. They don’t know, and they probably have their own stuff to worry about.

So do everyone a favor and check your expectations at the door. You can only control you, so if you feel uncomfortable or cornered or pressured or overlooked, give yourself a quick break to check in with yourself.

What can you do that is within your control to hold your boundaries and manage your expectations this holiday season?

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Healthy Boundaries Tips (from Therapist Aid)Download